tw: sexual abuse (pedophilia), suicide

[handfulofsapphires]

They came for him in the morning. Nicaise had gotten dressed in his usual silks, and he'd only just affixed his pearls to his hair when they came through the doors. He hardly startled. Maybe part of him had been expecting them. Laurent had been right, he had less currency than he'd been counting on. He'd mistaken whispered declarations and promises as truths, he'd shaved the hair his body was starting to grow. He'd been so good.

The Regent's guards took him by the arms like a common criminal and they would give him no answers. He was lead somewhere discrete, no public spectacle for this. The Regent was his only witness, fully dressed, hands clasped behind his back. Nicaise wanted to spit in his face. Nicaise wanted him to take his face gently in his hands and tell him this was all a mistake. But it wasn't, he knew it to be true when he looked into the Regent's eyes.

Before the Regent could speak, Nicaise leveled him with a look of cool defiance, one he'd perfected during the four years he'd lived here. All he had left now was his pride, and he would not be weak. But the Regent didn't say anything at all, except, "Try to make it a clean cut."

Nicaise felt the first seize in his chest of panic, and every ounce of courage he'd just been trying to amass started to crumble. He wanted to ask if the Regent had cared for him at all. He wanted to plead for mercy, to take back what he'd said about Laurent, to take back the look he'd just given and beg for forgiveness. But his throat was tight and he could feel bile rising to escape.

The guard on his right pressed one meaty hand to his shoulder and shoved him to his knees. Nicaise would not give the Regent or any of them the satisfaction of seeing his tears. He would not appear weak. He was trembling, but he hoped they could not see. His heart hammered in his chest, but he knew they could not hear it. He stared at the ground unblinking, and he told himself it was that reason only that his eyes began to burn and tear up.

The command was given. Nicaise felt the air move next to him, he heard the sword rise, fall, a pressure on the back of his neck...

...And then...

Like a sudden splash of cold water, the air froze around him and stole his breath. His eyes had closed without him realizing, and it was bright behind his closed eyelids. When he opened them he saw white.

Snow.

On the ground beneath him like it wasn't the middle of summer, his silk chemise already starting to soak from it. He finally raised his bowed head to take in the sight around him, and it was nothing like he'd ever seen before. A large, open building lay in front of him with people coming and going, a few of them spared him a curious glance before going on their way.

This is what happens when you die?



And then an older woman came toward him, painted face full of concern, in the strange clothes of all the rest.

"Oh dear, where are your shoes? Have you just arrived? Oh my goodness," she said, all fluster and worry. Nicaise only stared at her, shying away when she tried to put a heavy scarf around his neck.

"Come on, honey. You must be freezing. How old are you?"

"Thirteen," Nicaise lied, his teeth beginning to chatter against his will.

"Okay, okay, what's your name? Let me just get you a taxi and your packet. The children's home will probably be able to help, I have to get to work, you know, but here, come with me," she babbled, and he let her guide him to where the road was solid and wet, but out of the snow at least. She called over a large...thing. It must have been the taxi. A man was inside, but she ushered Nicaise into a seat of his own. He went because it was warm and he didn't know what to think, what to do.

The woman ran back up toward where she came and returned with an envelope. She thrust it through the opening of where he was sitting and told the man in the taxi to take him to the children's home.

"I'm not a child--" he tried to protest, but neither of them were listening.

The woman closed him inside and waved, calling good luck! before, suddenly, the taxi was moving. Nicaise gripped the seat, eyes wide as wherever he was now flashed by outside the window.

When the taxi finally, blessedly stopped, the man said, "We're here."

"Where?"

"The children's home," he said, impatient. "Look, I don't got all day to explain. See that building? Go in there, they'll give you the rundown." He muttered something Nicaise couldn't hear. The walls of the taxi felt like they were closing in on him and Nicaise thought if he had to be there a moment more he might vomit, but he couldn't figure out how to get out of the taxi.

"Pull the handle, kid. The metal lever," he said, craning around in his seat to point it out.

Nicaise pulled the handle and pushed the strange door open, escaping back into the cold and snow. He couldn't breathe. Everything was happening so fast and he didn't understand any of it. He clutched the envelope to him, the practiced grace of his steps gone as he approached the home of children, his feet numb.

The woman who greeted him at the door seemed surprised to see him, but it must not have been the first time this had happened because she had every explanation ready, a blanket, socks. He didn't understand half of what she was saying to him as she sat him down in front of a fire. What he did, was this: This was a home for children without parents. She asked for the names of his, but he had none to give her. He could not fathom why his own parents would be here, and even if they were he did not want to go to them. She asked if he had any other family and he said no. He was as eager to return to the Regent as he was to the people who had sold him off. If she recognized that he was the Regent's pet, or a pet at all, it didn't show. He insisted he wasn't a child, but the law here said he wasn't old enough to live alone.

This was a place called Darrow, and sometimes people showed up from all over. He had already begun to resent her kind face, disbelieving it's sincerity, but even more so when she showed him to a bedroom where he would be staying. In it were four plain beds, two of them already occupied. He was to sleep with other boys his age, near to the way he and his siblings had all shared a bedroom.

One of the boys didn't seem to care that Nicaise was there at all, which suited him just fine. The other was overly friendly, babbling about this and that, but Nicaise quickly got rid of him with a few short jabs. He didn't care for pudgy boys and childish things. He wasn't some impoverished orphan, he was a royal pet.

He was a traitor.

He was nothing at all, now.

Everyone and everything at the children's home was strange to him. Their clothing, their food, their mannerisms, he hated it all. They wanted him to go to school, which was full of children larger than him, meaner, maybe. They called him girl and immigrant and tried to take his bag. He let them, the fight in him as lost as he was in this place. He didn't want those books to begin with. He wanted to leave, but he didn't know where to go. He tried appealing to the bearded man at the home named Mr. Barnes, hoping he would take him from this place to somewhere better, to a home without children, to his bed, to something familiar. But he was summarily rejected and he recognized the look of disturbance on Mr. Barnes' face clearly enough to know he wasn't just playing coy.

Nicaise could stand it no longer, he had begun to wish the sword had done its job. He did not have a sword here, or even a knife, but his room did have a window. He broke it when none of the others were in the bedroom, picking a jagged piece from the sill. He would end it himself, and maybe he would even see his baby sister again. Nicaise pierced the skin of his wrist, forcing himself to be as stoic as he'd tried to be with the executioner, even though there was no one here to see it. Blood ran in rivulets down his arm and the pain overwhelmed. When the second wrist was done, his world went black.

The rest came slowly. Nicaise woke, not to an afterlife, but to a room even more stark than his bedroom at the children's home. His wrists were wrapped in bandages and his arms were tied to the side rails of the bed. A skinny tube was attached to his inner left arm, and everything was groggy. His tongue felt heavy.

"Where am I?" he asked to the empty room. No, not empty. A woman dressed in a sea green shirt and pants peeked around the curtain to his left.

"Nicaise?" she asked, pronouncing his name badly in a disgustingly gentle voice. "My name is Jennifer Rodriguez, I'm a nurse. You're in Darrow General Hospital. We had to mildly sedate you for your own safety. Your arms are only bound as another safety precaution, we didn't want you to wake up and panic and tear out your IV. Do you remember what happened, Nicaise?"

Nicaise's lip curled. "Of course I remember."

"Nicaise," she said, coming further into the room. She sat down in a chair next to his bed, some papers in her lap. "We've stitched up your wrists. The wounds weren't deep enough to do any lasting damage. Can you tell me why you wanted to hurt yourself?"

"No."

"Nicaise, is there anyone you want us to look for? A parent, a relative? People show up in Darrow all the time, there's a database. We could look them up for you, if they're here."

Nicaise stared at the ceiling. The Regent's name was on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back. "Laurent," he finally said, expelling the word from his throat like secret long kept.

"L-A-U-R-E-N-T?" she asked. "No last name?"

Nicaise didn't know what a last name meant, and so he shook his head.

"Alright, Nicaise. I'll let the front desk know. A doctor will be in to see you shortly. Do you need anything?"

There was a long list of things Nicaise needed, but he knew none of them were things the nurse could provide, and so he shook his head again. The woman left, and Nicaise waited.

Comments

[cast_iron_bitch]

After he placed the phone back in its cradle, Laurent allowed his immediate feelings to wash over him. The relief, the aching fear, the uncertainty and dread all found their mark, battering him with enough strength that would have taken him to his knees had Laurent not long been practiced in endurance.

When he could again breathe without effort, Laurent smoothed his clothing and put on his coat, hailing a taxi in a matter of moments with one insistently upflung hand. The journey to the hospital was brief, but taxing. His driver could not stop speaking, and for once in his life Laurent had no words. He clung to the door handle with white knuckled fingers, and scarcely managed to pay before he was walking quickly within the hospital doors.

Calm. He must be calm. No one would benefit if he were not, least of all Nicaise. This much was confirmed by the doctor who met him at the end of Nicaise's hall. He was alive. He was healing, but he needed sanctuary and quiet. He had attempted to take his own life. He was suffering from an unknown emotional trauma, one that would require regular counseling. Laurent contained his reaction - this woman, however well meaning and kind, could not know the half of it.

At last he was alone in the hall, and Laurent began the long walk to Nicaise's room. For the first time in all of this, he allowed himself to imagine it. Nicaise was pleased to see him. Nicaise was furious. Nicaise was weeping. Somehow, this scenario was worst of all, and Laurent made himself turn the corner to hover in the door, a slight, unintrusive presence as he took in Nicaise's still, too pale form.

Laurent opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. 'Sleeping?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise had been drifting but not quite asleep, resting against the pillows with the bed in an upright position, his hands folded in his lap. His head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice. No one had told him. He hasn't expected that Laurent would actually be here, that he would come for him. A great swell of emotion, the sort he did not usually let surface, filled his chest with a deep ache.

And then, what followed, was humiliation.

He hated the thought of Laurent seeing him like this. Weak, penniless, and abandoned, just like Laurent said he would be. How much did he know? Had he been told of his execution? But perhaps even worse than all of that, Nicaise had not been able take care of himself in this awful place and now Laurent knew it. He was just a child after all.

"You're here." His voice letting out a slight tremble at the end from how furious he was to see Laurent's face. Why didn't you come sooner? his eyes said.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Nicaise stirred, coming awake with a swiftness that belied his sweet, youthful face, and Laurent made himself meet Nicaise's eyes rather than sweep over the bandages wrapped around each of his forearms.

He said, 'Yes. For some months now.'

Laurent stepped deeper into the room. He would qualify that tremble in Nicaise's voice as anger rather than fear, and he was glad. To witness Nicaise openly afraid would be beyond his present endurance, and Laurent paused before Nicaise's bed. Only one who knew him well would recognize it as hesitance.

Nicaise must have some understanding where he was. He was hooked to machines that made shrill, beeping sounds, and lay beneath a light that burned without fire, yet he accepted both. He could not be brand new to this place.

'They said you asked for me. I would have come sooner if I had known you were here. Wherever that happened to be,' Laurent added.

[handfulofsapphires]

Months.

Had Laurent been here all this time, and not in Delfeur? But how? They had told him people came from 'all over' and Nicaise hadn't understood it, he thought this must be a place one ended up after they died, though he felt far from dead. None of it made sense, and this even less.

He watched Laurent, his gaze unflinching, some of the humiliation lessening from sheer confusion, anger still lingering under the surface. "I was at the home for children," he said, the derision clear in his voice.

"Is he here?" he asked, hoping Laurent knew who he meant.

[cast_iron_bitch]

The children's home. He might have been inside when Laurent walked by the other day, never knowing to look for him. It was an oversight that could not be repeated. If certain people from home arrived in Darrow, Laurent must know of it at once, be it Nicaise, or him.

'No,' he answered. 'I watched him die, though that is no preclusion to arriving here.' Laurent took the seat next to Nicaise's bed, though only just. He was perched on the edge of it, his spine straight and his hands folded. He thought it might help if he did not tower over the boy in his bed.

'If he does, I will take care of him. Swiftly, this time.'

[handfulofsapphires]

"He died?" Nicaise said numbly, his cold expression smoothing out. Again and again he was caught by surprise. With this he wasn't sure how to feel. Relief? Vindication? Mourning? He went quiet, because there was none of those, there were just more questions, a growing disbelief.

Laurent said he would take care of him, and Nicaise didn't know how to feel about that, either. His head felt so clouded, it pounded with the onset of a headache. He itched to pull out the tube in his arm, the bandages from his wrists. He wanted to leave.

"Remember your lie?" he asked, swallowing past a lump in his throat, trying to make himself sound indifferent, haughty. "Remember, you said you would offer for me."

But he couldn't bring himself to ask.

"I'm not going back to the children's home," he said instead, forcing himself to hold Laurent's gaze like he might try to make him.

[cast_iron_bitch]

He should not have said it like that. That Laurent had watched his uncle die, that Nicaise's newly returned life would be so much better without him was irrelevant. Laurent knew what it was to care for someone who had hurt you so deeply - Nicaise had many years of struggle ahead of him, and Laurent reminded himself to take extra care.

It was not easy in the next moment when Nicaise threw his own words back at him, and Laurent breathed in deeply through his nose. 'It was a lie,' he agreed, curling his fingers together, 'But I did not know it was at the time. Events - ' Laurent looked away. 'Accelerated at a rate I hadn't planned for - but if you blame me you are right to do so. Still.'

Laurent's gaze returned. 'The legal system here is robust, particularly where children are concerned. You may live with me, or the home. Nothing else will be allowed. What is your choice?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise would rather be Laurent's servant than made to live with those children. The stitches in his wrists were proof of that. He felt the first tendrils of relief when Laurent presented him with a choice.

"I choose to go with you," he said quietly, picking at the corner of a bandage. He lifted his chin a moment later, his gaze even and cool. "What is expected of me? I know you are frigid, but I have been taught well." It was as direct as he could get himself to offer to warm Laurent's bed. He never would have, back home, but who did he have here? If he hadn't been killed by the Regent he would have been sold to someone else. He knew that now, Laurent had been right.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent sucked in a short, quick breath. 'What is expected of you is not something you are likely to enjoy,' he answered. Then, finding the words too cryptic, Laurent leaned forward.

'You believe me frigid because I refused Veretian pets. That has nothing to do with fucking, and everything to do with the fact that I find the ownership of another human repugnant. The people of this city agree with me. There are no pets, no slaves, and anyone who touches a child as you have been touched is placed under arrest. If you are to live with me, it will be as yourself. Your own person, Nicaise, do you understand?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise's gaze slowly lowered as Laurent spoke, as what he said made as little sense as anything else. It seemed his feeling of being unmoored would not end any time soon, even having someone from home here with him.

"You would have me live with you and expect nothing?" he asked, lips curled in a frown, eyes wary. He was tired, his edges frayed, he could not see what manipulation Laurent was playing at, what trick. But there had to be one.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent watched Nicaise's gaze drop to his sheets with a strange feeling in his chest, at once too empty and too full, and aching. It differed in the tender way he felt for Auguste, deep beneath his cold veneer, and wasn't the same ache he felt for Damen, either. This sort of pain belonged only to caring for Nicaise, and Laurent had only just begun to untangle it.

'Yes,' he answered. 'And I know it will take some time for you to understand what that means. This world is nothing like our own, but in many ways, it is better.' For you, Laurent did not say, for while that might be true eventually, Nicaise had a very long road ahead of him.

Before him, Nicaise's edges seemed to unravel, and Laurent sat straighter. 'Do you need anything? Water, or something for the pain?'

[handfulofsapphires]

It was difficult to believe that this place in all its alien customs and unfamiliarity was better than where he'd come from. But if it was true that he would not have to give himself to anyone, that was something. It wasn't an option he'd ever considered, because it had never been one afforded to him. Only once had he wondered, secretly, when Laurent said he would offer for him, but even then he had foolishly still believed the Regent would keep him.

"I'm not in pain," Nicaise lied. "Can I leave? Do I need this?" He stretched his arm to show Laurent the IV.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent cast back through his scattered thoughts to recall what the physician had said. 'For a half hour longer,' he said. 'You need fluids to replace what was lost.' It was the first they had spoken of Nicaise's injury, and he paled as he stood, pouring a cup of water which he placed at Nicaise's bedside.

He didn't know if Nicaise would take it. Nicaise had lived a life of careful artifice, in a complicated court where receiving an item could be as powerful as giving it. Laurent was not his master. Laurent was perhaps not even Nicaise's friend, though he wished to be. There was much between them to be navigated, but he placed the glass close.

Laurent pressed his lips together. He said, 'Do you mean to try that again?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise sighed and leaned back against the pillows in this bed that could somehow fold itself into a sort of chair. He wanted to cross his arms, but the IV disturbed him and he did not want to jostle it too badly. His wrists still throbbed, dull, but constant, and he was reluctant to touch them against anything, either.

Laurent fetched him water like he was already Laurent's, and Nicaise still wondered at the truth of Laurent's statement, about pets being illegal and that he would belong to himself. He did not take the water, not because of who it came from, but because he was feeling stubborn for being kept here so long.

"If I have to listen to you much longer, I might," he said imperiously.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Turning away from Nicaise and the water both, Laurent stared out the window, his thoughts not on the scene below but on all that he must accomplish in a short time. He must acquire Nicaise clothes, a modest sort he would surely rail against, but proper. He must outfit his present rooms for a second occupant - third, if he was to count Damen - or perhaps secure a larger space. He must send Nicaise to Darrow's schools or teach him himself, neither of which was likely to be well received.

Laurent repressed a sigh. The world was so much more complicated than it had been an hour ago. His peace in Darrow was over, but if Nicaise lived again, Laurent could not resent the loss. He said, 'We both know how likely I am to hold my tongue,' then drifted back into silence.

A dog, perhaps. Nicaise would need a companion, and a dog's unyielding loyalty might be best, something to hold when he felt he couldn't turn to Laurent, and care for in ways he might not immediately look after in himself.

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise replied with a delicate snort, staring at the flat, black mirror on the wall across from him. He still couldn't understand the purpose of it, and he tried to focus his thoughts on trivialities like the mirror rather than everything else. Everything else was a cloud looming above him, ready to burst at any moment and overwhelm. It was hard to keep at bay, and so his thoughts inevitably drifted toward it.

"Do they even know who you are? I was told Darrow does not have a king," he said, cutting a glance over at Laurent's back.

[cast_iron_bitch]

'That is the truth,' answered Laurent. 'There is no royalty in Darrow. Instead, its leaders are elected by popular vote into limited positions of power for a period of time. Here, I am only a citizen, as are we all.'

Laurent turned back to Nicaise, meaning to watch him absorb that, but was distracted by the sudden presence of a nurse. She thrust a clipboard into his hands, and as Laurent surveyed it, he realized they were Nicaise's discharged papers. It had all happened so quickly - he would have to take Nicaise home in the laundered clothes he had arrived in.

He looked up again to see a small flurry of movement near Nicaise's bed - medicinal levels and fluids being checked, his IV removed, and a wheelchair brought into th room. When the nurses were gone, Laurent hefted the little bag of clothes. 'Are you able to dress yourself?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise smirked faintly, but it was more an automatic reaction than anything. If he'd been in a better mood with his wits intact, he might have enjoyed learning of this more. What better taunt than a Prince who's had his lands taken from him in his own kingdom, and then his title stripped of him in another? But the nurse interrupted any potential jibes, blessedly to take the tube from his arm.

"My limbs have not been cleaved from my body, of course I can," he said brusquely, taking the bag from Laurent. He turned on the bed, lowering his feet gingerly to the ground to stand. He was fine, but the formless gown they'd dressed him in was humiliating, as was Laurent's assumption that he couldn't do something as simple as put on a pair of pants.

"Well, turn around," he added when Laurent remained in the room, impatient to be dressed and gone from this place.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent occupied himself with loosening the laces on Nicaise's worn sneakers. He wished they were boots, and resolved to spare Nicaise the pain of doing them up despite his injury by simply doing it himself.

He looked up when a nurse passed by the door. 'Is this necessary?' he asked of the wheeled chair. The nurse gave him an unimpressed look in response, and pressed a rattling bag of small plastic jars into his hands.

'Either you push him out of here in it or I will,' she said in tones that suggested she was too busy for a task he could do himself. Privately Laurent agreed.

He turned and stuck the shoes on Nicaise's feet, bending to quickly do up the laces. 'Into the chair, please.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise dressed himself in the dreadful clothing of this land, only appeased by the fact that it was better than the ugly gown that tied up in the back. He hated the pants most of all. He hadn't worn slacks since he'd come to live in the palace, and the material of the ones from the children's home were heavy and course.

"Why have I suddenly become helpless?" he asked in an indignant squeak, cheeks aflame as Laurent put his shoes on for him. And then even worse, he was resigned to a wheeled chair like an infant or a cripple.

"I have both my legs," he said, glaring at the nurse even as he lowered himself obediently into the seat.

"It's hospital policy for all out-going patients," she informed him, moving to open the door for them.

"A foolish policy for a land of stupid people," Nicaise said, glowering to himself.

[cast_iron_bitch]

'I'm told he was a sweet youth, once,' Laurent remarked to the nurse, and wasted no more time in pushing the chair on a smooth path towards the elevator.

'There is much here that is different,' he said as the doors closed, and the room lowered itself to the ground floor. It had seemed almost magic when Laurent had first arrived, and though he now understood the machination to be one of electricity, he wondered what Nicaise saw. 'Do let me know if I may explain anything.'

Risking further agitation, once they were outside Laurent removed his coat and settled it atop Nicaise while they waited for a car. The air was biting, but surely moreso to one as wan and fragile as Nicaise now looked. 'I would be gratified if you were to eat something when we are home.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise was silent as Laurent wheeled the chair into a closet. He was about to protest, but words left him as his stomach gave an uncomfortable swoop. The closet moved without moving, somehow. Nicaise's hands automatically gripped the arms of the chair, relaxing only when the closet opened back up, revealing an entirely new room. Another trick, one he did not ask about. He didn't like that Laurent knew more of this place than him. "I've been here a week," he muttered, like he knew everything already.

Laurent draped his coat over him once outside, the thing dwarfing him. He appreciated the warmth, wondering if he'd have to be pushed in the chair all the way to wherever Laurent lived, when a taxi rolled up next to them. He knew, at least, what this was. "I'm not hungry," he said, "and I'm not going to let you carry me into the car."

He was beat to the door by the driver, who came and opened it for him. Nicaise got inside without saying thank you, Laurent's coat still wrapped around him.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent acknowledged the driver with a nod and entered on the other side, reaching across to fasten Nicaise's seatbelt with quick hands. 'High Gate Terrace.'

'That's only a couple'a blocks,' groused the driver, but he quieted when Laurent gazed at him steadily through the rear view mirror. 'At least ten,' said Laurent, and felt the car lurch into motion beneath them.

He watched Nicaise from the corner of his eye. 'That room was called an elevator. There is another in my building.'

[handfulofsapphires]

"What room?" Nicaise asked, distracted by the car leaving the hospital. He didn't think he'd ever get used to the way it felt to ride in one, it was nothing like a horse. Laurent's comment caught up with him and he looked over at him a moment later, hand holding tightly to the door. "...Do you mean the closet?"

[cast_iron_bitch]

'Yes,' said Laurent, for it was near enough to one. 'They are used as a quicker, less arduous alternative to staircases.' He himself preferred the exercise, but today he would take the elevator with Nicaise. The boy had been through enough without ten floors besides.

His eyes flickered to the door, and though he gave no outward sign, Laurent disliked the idea of Nicaise stressing his wounds with such a grip. 'Did they make showers available to you at the home?' he asked, wishing to distract him, 'Or only baths?'

[handfulofsapphires]

He knew it had been moving, it had just been such a strange sensation since he couldn't see the movement. It was a little like being in the car. He didn't think he liked either of them, but he wouldn't dare admit it and run the risk of having it used against him.

"Yes, showers," Nicaise said, looking warily over at Laurent, wondering at his interest. "I prefer the baths back home, the clothes, the food, all of it. Whoever cooked at the childen's home could not prepare one decent meal."

[cast_iron_bitch]

'Indeed,' said Laurent, passing another moment in silence. 'I prefer the solitude of these modern showers, myself. Bathing in Vere was such a tedious production.'

Laurent looked at him across the seat. 'I'm not certain you will find my meals decent, either, but I will do my best. If it is too abysmal we can order in.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Laurent had a point, the shower was near about one of the only places Nicaise had been able to be left alone. At times he'd had the bedroom to himself, but he never knew how long it would last before one of the other boys would come in. The shower, though, he was never bothered while he was in there.

Nicaise looked back at Laurent, his frown taking on a confused tilt. "Order in?" he asked, unsure what that meant. Did Laurent have someone to bring him food?

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent nodded, pleased with this line of inquiry. Nicaise needed feeding, and not only due to his injury. A quick examination of his medicines showed that almost none were to be eaten on any empty stomach.

'We may order any sort of food we desire, and it will be brought to our door for a small convenience fee. Is there any particular meal you longed for while at the Children's Home?'

[handfulofsapphires]

It was something of a relief to hear that life with Laurent would at least be somewhat similar to what he'd known back home. The meals in the palace were always exceptional, and so far everything he'd been given here had been slop.

He looked thoughtful, turning the question over in his mind. His stomach had been too tangled to want to eat, but maybe he could try. "Pheasant," he finally said. "And chocolate mousse."

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent repressed a smile. The boy would have to adapt to new eating habits - until Laurent's investments picked up, neither of them would be eating pheasant every day, but there were a number of places he could call into, and busboys he could surely bribe. The food might be too rich for Nicaise's stomach, but on their first reunion Laurent would not refuse him.

'Very well,' he agreed, looking up at High Gate as they arrived. Laurent unfastened Nicaise's seatbelt and hastily paid the driver, tipping him well before he exited to open Nicaise's door. He didn't expect Nicaise to accept his help rising, but he was available all the same.

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise looked out the window and up at the building they had stopped in front of. It was quite a bit larger than the children's home, though maybe not as attractive looking. It was no palace, but for a Prince who had lost his title it was better than Nicaise had imagined.

He glared up at the way Laurent hovered, but took his hand anyway and climbed out of the car. Laurent had already done his shoes and strapped him to the seat, he had better not spoon feed him as well.

Tucking Laurent's coat more closely around himself, Nicaise spoke only when the taxi left. "Do you live alone, then, or do you have servants to care for all this?"

[cast_iron_bitch]

'I live alone,' said Laurent. 'My rooms here are only a few among many. You will be delighted to discover I am entirely a commoner.' Delighted, if no doubt inconvenienced, as Nicaise was to live with him.

Ignoring the cold that bit at him from all sides, Laurent led Nicaise up the steps and into the lobby, pausing before the elevator. 'It will be a longer journey than last,' he said. 'Ten flights.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise hid his embarrassment at assuming the entire building was Laurent's. He hated that he still knew so little about this country. Laurent seemed to have already adapted and mastered things that baffled Nicaise, like the elevator they were now in front of.

"I'm not scared," he said, affronted, and when the door slid open he let go of Laurent's hand and stepped confidently inside. This time he watched to learn how Laurent controlled it. Laurent pressed a numbered button, the ten, as he'd said, ten flights. The elevator caused the same sort of uneasy swoosh in his stomach as the one at the hospital had, only this time Nicaise didn't allow himself to react.

The elevator opened in front of a short hallway and a plain door, and Nicaise stepped out and waited for Laurent to let them in. It was quiet, and Nicaise pulled the coat around him again despite the warmth.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Pausing at his door, Laurent cast a glance over his shoulder and said, 'Prepare yourself.' He let them in and allowed himself to take in his home as he had on that first night. It was furnished comfortably, if not beautifully, though Laurent had added touches here and there in the last few months to brighten it. There were blankets and tastefully embroidered pillows on the chaises, and fresh flowers on the table.

Laurent set his keys next to them and extended his hand towards a chair. 'Or would you prefer to see your new room, such as it is?'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise made a face when Laurent warned him, wondering what sort of horror could be behind the door. It turned out to be nothing at all, but perhaps that was his point. The room was bland. The opulence of Vere was missing as it had also been in the children's home and the hospital, and so Nicaise couldn't say he was surprised. At this point he was simply glad to be away from strangers and needles.

"I would see it," he said.

[cast_iron_bitch]

Laurent nodded. 'It is not yet outfitted with a bed,' he said as he led Nicaise down the short hallway, pushing open a door to reveal his library. There were several cases of books which would need relocating, and a desk, but otherwise the room was empty.

'Tonight we can make you a pallet of cushions, or if you desire you may take my bed. Either way you will be alone and undisturbed.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise looked around at the shelves of books and the desk with a small window above it. His bedroom with the Regent had been easily ten times the size of this one, the bed would have hardly fit. It was something he might have remarked unkindly on, had they been back home.

But they weren't, and he was tired.

Nicaise wasn't good at thanking anyone, especially someone like Laurent. Instead he touched the edge of the desk and said, "This room is fine." He did not want to sleep in Laurent's bed, holding to the things he'd been told earlier, however unlikely he still believed them to be.

"May I look at the books?"

[cast_iron_bitch]

'Of course,' said Laurent. 'I will leave them in your room if you wish.' He stepped into the hallway and pulled out his phone, making certain that he could still see Nicaise while he called his favorite restaurant.

Sure enough, once enough coin was applied it was almost too easy to persuade someone to bring the order, and Laurent made arrangements for pheasants, wild rice, rosemary bread, and several chocolate mousses to be delivered. He stared at his phone after.

In his breast rattled too many emotions, his head too full of questions. It was easier to keep busy, and Laurent stuck his head in the door. 'I'll gather cushions if you'd like to read while we wait for dinner.'

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise ran his fingers along the spines of books. Some of them reminded him of home, but some were more the type they'd had at the children's home, the covers a thick, but flimsy paper. He chose a book bound in something sturdier, the color of rubies. Principles of Ecology it read on the front. Nicaise sat down with it at the desk, looking over when Laurent returned.

"I'd like that," he said. It seemed dangerous to be alone just yet, but there were too many things he wanted to know but was still too guarded to ask. He felt too much when he looked at Laurent. Looking at Laurent felt like home, but they weren't home and Nicaise didn't know how to act around him now. So when Laurent returned with cushions and pillows and left the room, Nicaise crept over to the makeshift bed with the book and laid down on his side to read it. He couldn't focus on the words. He barely tried. Laying down, exhaustion overtook him, and Nicaise drifted off to sleep.